Hey this is what a record looks like

A handful of mentally ill people and one guy that could have been a model had he been born of bluer blood, get together and form a band. The band puts out a single for their upcoming lp every two years and then the lp finally drops, just as the bottom begins to fall out of the band. Then a bunch of chubby men in their mid to late twenties post on a message board asking how many copies of this record are on white vinyl. Then Ted Leo tweets about the record being for sale. Then the girlfriends of previously mentioned band members think "who the fuck cares about these idiots? they can't even deliver food from the plate to their mouths without fucking it up."

Here is the pressing breakdown for Copsucker

1000 total
100 on white vinyl
900 on black
some of the black may be swirled as the company did not clean out the machine when they switched colors. If you have a swirled record that looks cool, why not post a pic of it here? You can be part of this too, y'know?

I'm going to post a pic of the t shirts we have for sale, because that is what real bands do, they fucking sell shit.

Time to rewrite your top 10 lists of 2011

Hello music listeners, we are happy to inform you that you now must revise all of those carefully crafted "best of 2011" lists you dipshits care so much about so that you can go ahead and put our new lp COPSUCKER on the very top of that shit. Shouldn't be too hard, just write it at the top and change all the other numbers. Easy. We would like to thank the hard working gents that do Iron Lung Records for putting this out. First hundred of this beast are on white vinyl. Go get it.

We will have details of our record release show posted in like 2 hours, so chill the fuck out and wait.

Go here to listen to a preview and then buy this. We all have bills(gambling debts) to pay.

http://ironlungpv.bandcamp.com/album/kim-phuc-copsucker-lp

total gambling losses for the year to date- $387.00

So since the last time we updated this bitch the following have happened-

Iron Lung Records is putting our lp out.

We played a bunch of shows in Pittsburgh to the same hundred people, over and over and over.

Jaromir Jagr signed with the Flyers. Why would you do that? Think of the children Jags.

TFP finally sobered up from our last night in San Francisco(two year hangover).

Rob is skinny now.

Now that the lp is in the can, we are moving onto a concept record called Boobs Of Spanish Weather, which will be about an unemployed guy that falls in love with a Telemundo weather girl and learns spanish, goes to school for Meteorology, then moves to Miami to court this fine piece of Latin American tail. Anyone interested in buying the movie rights to this blockbuster story should get a hold of us PRONTO. Shit will be off the charts and make Avatar look like a film school assignment.

So, we have finished tracking our LP, I think. We will start mixing at some inopportune moment where I want to do something else, I'm sure of. Anyway, after our 7" on Criminal Iq records being out for like 2 years now, and we finally got a bad review of it. I was let down that it was by a British guy that probably doesn't understand the rules of football, or what it's like to go to a dentist, but I'll take it. Check out his review here. Check out his amazing band here.
Hopefully he reads this and wants to hang out with me when I go to England this summer.

We have some shows coming up. I will post those soon.

we are still alive, kinda

Hello Friends,
We forgot to update this thing, or spent the last 5 months attempting to repress any and all memories of our west coast tour, and didn't really feel like letting you all know what we've been up to.
After getting bumped out of our recording spot by Mushroomhead, we decided to go ahead and record the LP with the tightest dude in Pittsburgh, Jason Jouver. You may know him as the normal guy from Don Caballero, but we know him as Mr. Mother Fucking Recording Guy. Dude has been making shitty bands sound good for years now, and hopefully our session with him will be no different. Right now we have recorded the drums and they sound like drums, so we are on the right track.
We have been invited to play the Chaos In Tejas festival in Austin, Tx this year. You can use google to find out the line up and how fucking boss it is that we are playing on the same show as Bastard, Marked Men and Rival Mob. I just shook my magic 8 ball to see how the trip will turn out and all it said was "All signs point to no."

West Coast Tour

We are going on a tour of the West Coast in a mere 9 days. Anticipating the excitement of sitting in a van, waiting to go to some local vegetarian restaurant, standing outside of a record store while everyone else flips through Brian Eno records is almost too much to take right now. Regardless, here are the upcoming dates:


Nov 5 Thursday San Francisco - Li Po Lounge: 916 Grant Avenue San Francisco w/ Mouzer, Bait and Switch

Nov 6 Friday Santa Barbara - The Pink Mailbox

Nov 7 Saturday w/SNUGGLE (seattle) WEEKEND WARRIOR @ 935 E Broadway
Long Beach, CA
all ages
$5

Nov 8 Sunday San Diego The Soda Bar - 9:00 PM - Kim Phuc, Whorio Goes to Clown School (Christmas Island guys new band)
3615 El Cajon Blvd, San Diego, California 92104 http://www.myspace.com/sodabarbooking [www.myspace.com] »

Nov 9 Watching the Steelers in San Francisco

Nov 10 Tuesday San Francisco The Knockout w/Wild Thing, Ruleta Rusa

Nov 11 Wednesday Sacramento Venue TBA w/Ice Capades 1

Nov 12 Thursday Portland The Know w/ Walls

Nov 13 Friday Seattle The Nursing Home w/ Walls

Nov 14 Saturday Portland @ East End Bar 203 SE Grand Ave with Sam Henry

Nov 15 Sunday San Francisco w/Christ On Parade, The Lewd @ Thee Park

Demonstrating nothing

A fellow Willie Nelson fan named Robert Collins was kind enough to post our demo in mp3 format for you sniveling pieces of shit that were too good to give me three dollars for this thing when I had 200 copies of it sitting in my bedroom, taking up space that could have been more wisely used for gun or pornography storage. Go here to download it, and go to http://terminalescape.blogspot.com to check out beardo's blog. Maybe drop him a line and tell him what your favorite Waylon Jennings song is so you do not feel so inconsequential to these great feats of humanity that have occurred with the creation, recording and then posting of music to the internet. Welcome to the future. Shit is cool.